Launched in 1981, MTV quickly helped to shape our
popular culture with their music video programming. The 1980s churned out a
number of outstanding and bizarre videos. Here’s my top-10 favorite videos from
that era.
10. Rick James “Super Freak” (1981)
What’s a top-10 list of 80s music videos without one from Rick James? A piss-poor one, I say!
Why I Love This Video:
Rick James’ smile and wink at the beginning of the video; he
was a dirty, charismatic motherfucker.
His glittery vest—or is it a blouse?—is fucking amazing. You know Marie Antoinette would have loved that
shit.
From an aesthetic standpoint, I think the stark white
background was a great choice. It’s a simple backdrop but it allows everyone to
stand out in close-up shots no matter what color their skin is. (And it works
great with the group shots, too.)
The scene of Rick in the back of the limousine with his
ladies starting at the 1:44 mark. It looks like a mobile plain of heaven. (The
boy from Buffalo, NY, did well!)
The way Rick James wields his big white bass like it’s an
extension of his dick. (And man, that bass looks regally sweet.)
The cutaway to an archival clip of The Temptations is nifty.
Favorite Part:
The lewd tongue lick at the 2:09 mark when he sings “I’d
really like to taste her” is pure Rick James; in a way, he was a part of the
musical-sexual evolution bands like The Kinks started in the 1960s with songs like “You
Really Got Me” and “All
Day and All of the Night.”
9. Def Leppard’s “Rock of Ages” (1983)
Why I Love This Video:
The close-up shot of the druid-looking dude in the opening sequence
kicking the song off by saying “Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen.” The lyrics are
weird, and the accompanying shot just takes it to another level. (Now if you’re
wondering what those words mean, apparently record
producer Mutt Lange got tired of counting the band in with a “1, 2, 3, 4…,” so
he started saying this.)
Close-up shots of Joe Elliott are basically money shots for all
the rocker teen girls of the 80s. Looking back now, I enjoy how cheesy his
frontman tactics are in this video.
Excalibur makes its debut at the 2:03 mark! Holy shit, that
is one big penis, I mean, sword. And that shot of Elliott holding Excalibur
whilst stalking between the flames is pretty awesome, you gotta admit. (Or can
you tell I’m a Lord of the Rings
fan?)
The symbolism at the 2:42 mark! Holy shit! Yes, yes! The guitar is the slayer’s instrument of choice! Rock is the sonic equivalent of wielding a mighty sword—the mightiest of them all! YES!
When Phil Collen’s sticks his tongue out why playing his
guitar solo at the 2:57 mark. You know it’s MTV-glam-metal-hard-rock code for
I-am-bad-and-will-lick-your-pussy-clean.
Fucking admit it, man: every time Joe Elliott swings
Excalibur it’s fucking cool. You know you wanna do that (and get paid for it).
Favorite Part:
The blatant ass-wiggling shot of guitarist Phil Collen at
the 0:31 mark. It’s pure hilarity.
8. Fleetwood Mac “Big Love” (1987)
Why I Love This Video:
“Big Love” almost feels like a strange homage or allusion to
gnarly-long cinematic shots like the classic tracking shot in the opening of
Orson Welles’ “Touch of Evil.” The continuous backwards tracking shot from the gaudy
mansion to the black-clad band then into this dream-like mansion with an
endless hallway is trippy.
The weird interior shots of Lindsey Buckingham singing is
almost Lynchian because of his slightly morbid gray suit and his 80s-style Jewfro.
I happen to think it’s funny whenever we see Stevie flapping
her dress in a doorway whenever they reintroduce the rest of the band.
The shot of Lindsey floating through space between the 1:51
– 2:01 mark is straight Twilight Zone-ish.
It’s really fucking weird how Lindsey gyrates and plays his guitar
at the 2:11 mark; it looks like he’s copping a hard-on to the back of his
six-string.
The backward tracking shot with Lindsey in front near the
end of the video is pretty cool and trippy, kind of like those head cameras
that became popular a few years back. It adds a layer of weirdness just when
the video was beginning to get stilted.
Favorite Part:
The fast-forward tracking shot at the end of the song is a splendidly
simple yet trippy sequence, especially when Lindsey is making that bizarre guttural
sound while the profile of his head faces his lover on the opposite end of the
frame. Overall, the video is a thoroughly peculiar visual treatment of the
musical composition. Watching it makes me feel like firing up a four-foot bong
or dropping some acid.
7. Peter Gabriel “Sledgehammer” (1986)
What is a top-10 80s music video list without a video from
Peter Gabriel? A piss-poor one, I say! Peter Gabriel’s early videos were MTV, which singlehandedly helped to
change the music industry (for the worst, I would ultimately argue). His videos
were artful, inventive and bizarre. Gabriel set the bar with videos like this
one, which won a record
nine MTV music video awards.
Why I Love This Video:
The subtle opening progression from sperm, to blood pumping,
to the human body, to Peter Gabriel’s gorgeous blue eyes to his Big-Book-of-British-Smiles worthy
teeth. David Fincher pulled a similar trick in the opening credits of Fight Club when we take a visual tour
through the synapses firing inside Tyler Durden’s brain before the camera zooms
out from an extreme close-up of a gun cocked inside Edward Norton’s mouth.
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What’s pretty amazing about this video is that from the 0:39
mark to 3:22 we essentially have Peter Gabriel’s mug staring back at the
camera, in one distorted form or another. It’s never quite a dull moment.
“Sledgehammer” came out ten years before Alanis Morissette’s “Head Over Feet”
in which she faces the camera for the entirety of the music video. (For the
record, I do not listen to her music! I am unfamiliar with this song. I only
reference it because I know it was remarkable to have a music video in which
the entire composition is a long, close-up take of a musician singing. Please,
I do not want my street cred to plummet any further.) In other words, this
music video was ahead of its time.
When Gabriel flips off his shirts with the “Shed my skin”
line. Clever sexual innuendo.
When Gabriel is paired with his backing vocalists in the
haphazard-glitchy footage towards the end of the video; it’s pretty neat and
trippy in my book. (And again—where’s the bong?)
The image of Gabriel standing to walk out the door as a set
of neon-glow lights at the end of the video is MTV music video lore.
Favorite Part:
The shot of Gabriel riding a chalk-drawing Big Dipper rollercoaster
with his hair tussling in the wind via stop-motion from 1:30 – 1:39 is pretty
fucking brilliant.
6. Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” (1982)
Why I Love This Video:
The fucking weird opening shot of David Coverdale’s insanely
hot girlfriend, Tawny Kitaen, doing a
flip atop the hood of two fancy-ass Jaguars. One, it’s such a strange
gesture to open this or any music
video with. Two, it’s even more bizarre since there is a rather drab wide shot
of some city in the background—including a construction crane. Who’s fucking
bright idea was it to open with this
shot? And three, Kitaen’s decked out in transparent, virginal white, which
makes shit even weirder.
All the super-dramatico opening shots of the band onstage.
David Coverdale’s hair looks like a production. His curly hair in this video is peak 80s hair metal.
The shots of Kitaen laid out on a car, then doing splits on
it are hilarious to watch now that I’m a grown man. When I was a kid, though, I’m
pretty sure I was just holy-crap mesmerized by what I saw on the screen. (This
might explain why my mother continually cancelled our cable subscription
throughout the 80s decade.)
The montage starting at the 1:14 mark when the band launches
into their hydrogen-bomb-powerful chorus. A lot of motion. Lot of emotion. It
is sonic and visual catharsis.
The quick cut at the 3:29 mark is classic visual proof that
a guitar is an extension of a
guitarist’s penis.
All the leg, all the tongue, all the vehicular groping.
Those visuals provide this simple unsaid yet unmistakable equation to the
impressionable viewers: Rock = Sex. (“Here I Go Again” is probably a timeless
song because it is love, longing, catharsis, might, fucking, and triumph all
rolled into one ditty.)
Favorite Part:
The shot of Coverdale driving his Jaguar while getting his
ear kissed by Tawny Kitaen. Let’s be frank: a smoking hot woman is 80s hair metal grail. And good lord,
I think my lifelong crippling weakness for redheads was forged in this video, via
poetically delicious shots of Kitaen hanging outside the car window. The quick
cut of her at the 2:37 mark is wet dream immaculate.
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