Friday, February 16, 2018
Well, shit, it'd been a while since my homeboy, Justin "To Live is to Fly" Goldman and I put our wretched brains together for a top-10 double-shot list. And I suspected this topic was up our proverbial alleys. And indeed it was.
I’d like to start this post by noting that I think it’s remarkable that it has taken me this long to come up with this list. Throughout my adult life, well before my body ever developed a blood cancer, I have often thought of death. I have long been cognizant that this ride will end. For most of my life I think I have thought of my own death because there has always been a part of my spirit that yearns for it. I know this is going to sound fucking dramatic, but there is a part of me that longs for a reprieve from this life that inevitably manufactures suffering. But now that Maria and I have a son, I think I am far less welcoming of death because it would tear me to be away from our Miguelito. Other than losing my mother, I don’t think there’s anything that tears me more than imagining our son growing up without either one of us.
Although my desire to stay alive has probably never been more palpable and urgent, it’s still easy for me to think about my death. I know most Americans would think that’s dark, but I don’t give a fuck about that. For myself, it’s been abundantly useful to be mindful of the fact that I will be dead someday because it has helped me to be grateful for what I do have.
Over the years, I have periodically thought about what music I would want to be played at my wake. The music I listen to has always been the clearest reflection of how I feel in the present, and—by extension—how I feel about our world. And so, this list is simply a reflection of that at this juncture of my life. So, although I listen to these genres a ton during my 38th revolution around the sun, there is no metal here whatsoever. No classic rock. No Motown. No 1960s – 1980s R & B. No surf rock (which has been my latest musical obsession). No Latin or West Coast jazz. And no blues. Instead, these are just some of the most exquisite and perfect songs I have been blessed to stumble upon this long, strange trip. (Check out my homeboy's list for some more righteous tunes aqui.)