Ode to Pantera Dude

Dear Pantera Dude,

Do you remember me?, because I remember you. You were a white boy. About seventeen or eighteen—my age back then. I vaguely remember you had long bleach-blond hair and blue eyes. And you wore Doc Martens, and I think a lot of dark clothing. Our Catholic parental units signed us up for a confirmation class at Santa Paula Parish. I attended the weekly evening class with my sister, who I think you may have had a crush on. That could explain why you hung around us, toward the back pews furthest from our elderly teachers. I remember you sat behind us, or sometimes next to me (I think).

Here’s why I remember you: you brought either a Walkman or a Discman to our confirmation class and played Pantera’s Vulgar Display of Power, and, on a few occasions, you let me listen through your headphones and it was FUCKING AWESOME. I had never heard Pantera before. I was just beginning to purposefully listen to alternative rock, which, in time, served as my gateway to a galaxy of rock bands and musical genres in the years and decades to come. But thanks to you, I became familiar with Pantera’s powerful, heavy, testosterone-driven brand of groove metal from listening to songs like “Hollow” and “Walk” in the Lord’s house.

Back then, there was so much going on in my life. I was in the midst of figuring out who the fuck I was and I didn’t have the grizzled perspective to appreciate just how delightfully subversive it was of you to listen to Pantera in church and to share it with one of god’s sheep. (That would be me.) The class was a fucking joke—as was the sacrament itself, my final rite within the church—but it did provide the opportunity to be exposed to the astounding play of Dimebag Darrell, one of the greatest metal guitarists ever. And I owe that to you.

I wouldn’t categorize myself as a metalhead. I never dressed the part, or allowed it to become a central facet of my identity, but nowadays I know of and listen to several metal genres. I primarily listen to thrash and classic metal, but I also listen to some death, black, and doom metal. From time to time I listen to some vile shit that makes Pantera seem like PG-13. I hope this might please you to know.

Did you end up being an agnostic/atheist as well? Was your musical taste back then symptomatic of that? I like to think that you perverted me. Maybe you were really a hellish minion sent into the Lord’s house to twist and blacken the souls of potentially wayward beings like me? Maybe I was personally recruited(!)?

But what I do know is that you played a part in turning me onto heavy metal. So wherever you are, I hope you’re rocking.

\m/

Juan